Words We Could Never Find
by KouenTaisa
Summary: It was fitting, perhaps, that the first time he told her 'I love you' was with his hands. Abby/Gibbs. One shot.


**Title: Words We Could Never Find**  
**Author: KouenTaisa [on ] Chedders**  
**Rating: K-T (?)**  
**Fandom: NCIS**  
**Pairing: Abby/Gibbs **  
**Status: Complete**  
**Category: Oneshot**  
**Spoilers: Rule 51(ish)**  
**Summary: It was fitting, perhaps, that the first time he told her 'I love you' was with his hands.**  
**A/N: This is the most dialogue and action I have ever covered with this couple, and it kind of worries me. Another thing, I have seen Rule Fifty-One, but I was at work, so I'm sorry if everything is not correct and such. I haven't seen a lot of NCIS, but I've seen enough to know that I love me some Gibbs/Abby.**

_What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love never went away?  
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?  
Baby, before it's too late. - What About Now: Daughtry_

It was fitting, perhaps, that the first time he told her 'I love you' was with his hands. The same hands that he used to painstakingly work on his boat. The same hands that held his gun. The same hands that had brought her comfort and protection, and yet they were the same hands that had silenced her upon his departure to Mexico. Abby would never be sure of when she fell in love with Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but she had always loved him.

He was her confidant and her best friend, despite her closeness with Tony. He'd always been there for her since she joined NCIS, and except for his leave to Mexico, Abby had always been able to get in touch with him, but even then she had been able to call if she really wanted to. Now, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. He had been pulling away from her, and even though the thought hurt, it worried her more than anything. After leaving Ducky to take Ziva out after the ceremony, she had made up her mind to visit Gibbs. Now, sitting in his driveway, she wasn't sure if it was something she could do.

Taking a deep breath, she got out of her car and slowly made her way to the front door. She knew that it would be unlocked, and somehow it still filled her with relief when she realized that at least some things never changed. Taking her time, she made her way to the basement, but paused at the top of the stairs. She could already tell that he wasn't down there. Silence reigned as she walked through the rest of the house, finding every room just as empty as the last.

There was one last place he could be, and Abby wondered if she had the right to intrude on him in his bedroom. The basement was a special place for Gibbs. It was his retreat, and she had never taken for granted the fact that he let her down there without a fight. She'd even managed to maim his boat once without getting into too much trouble, but now… things seemed different. She'd been in his room before, of course. It wasn't as if she hadn't stayed the night at his house plenty of times, but there was a difference between now and then.

Now, he couldn't even look her in the eye. With her mind made up, she ascended the stairs to his room, trying to be as quiet as possible. When she found him, he was sitting on his bed, a small box in his lap and a card in his hand. She barely caught what was on the card, but she caught enough.

_Rule 51. Sometimes- you're wrong._

"Is that about us? Or about _her_?" she managed to get out. Of course, the us was referring to their team as a whole, but Abby could see that he hadn't interpreted it that way.

"Abby-"

"You weren't there. Ziva was expecting you to be there, Gibbs. You let her down. You let _me _down."

Another pause, followed by a sigh. Gibbs put the card back into the box, closing it gently. He didn't want to have this conversation right now, if ever. "I got held up."

Abby's thoughts flashed back to Ms. Hart, and she couldn't help but feel a little bitter toward the lawyer. Without saying anything, she stepped closer to him. He moved the box from his lap, placing it onto the night stand with care before he scooted over to give her room. There was hesitation in her movements before she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, but not any closer.

"You never answered my question." she pointed out.

"You never let me," he retaliated. Gibbs glanced over in her direction, and she could just feel his piercing blue eyes on her skin. Sometimes, it was how she knew he was there. Otherwise, she was never really knew that Gibbs was around until he scared the shit out of her. Silence settled between them, uncomfortable and heavy. Apparently, it was his turn again.

"It's an umbrella rule." he offered. It wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. All he could think about as he stared at that piece of paper was the look on Abby's face when she had confronted him in the basement, and then again when she had locked him in her lab. She had been upset. Worried… but most of all… she had been hurt and that wasn't something he could take away.

"Like rule thirteen," she mumbled softly, not daring to look over her shoulder at him. She didn't think she could do it without yelling or crying or doing something stupid. Gibbs sometimes had that effect on her, and it was a love/hate thing. She wasn't aware of how close he was until she felt his hands on her sides, but it didn't startle her. She was used to his sudden invasion of her personal space. It was something that happened a lot. Closing her eyes, she felt his fingers skim along her sides before moving up. She felt the bed dip down behind her as he shifted his weight and Abby wondered why she was so in tune with Gibbs.

Even when she wanted to be angry at him, she couldn't muster the feelings. She couldn't be angry at him or hate him. She could only love him, and feel the disappointment well up every time that he didn't return the unsaid feelings between them. Feelings that were as tangible as his kisses upon her cheek every time she did something right. She felt his warm breath on her ear before his lips brushed against the back of her head affectionately. It was like every other kiss he had ever given her, and yet at the same time it was so different that she could feel the lingering heat that the contact had left.

His fingers brushed her cheek, and even with her eyes closed, she knew what he was signing.

_My girl. _

When she felt his breath on her ear again, she turned her head, taking a chance. Her lips brushed against his lightly. Teasing. At first there was no response, and then she felt his lips press against hers. Still gentle, but holding a promise. Shifting so that she could see his face, she pulled back a little and signed the words that she couldn't find her voice to say.

_I love you._

She could see the hesitation in his eyes, but there was something else. Something she wasn't used to seeing, but something that was welcome all the same. She watched as he leaned forward, brushing his lips against her forehead. When he pulled back, there was the slightest hint of a smile on his face. He brought his hands up, his eyes never leaving hers.

_I love you, too._

Appropriately, Gibbs always used his hands.


End file.
